It never fails…just before I begin teaching a principle at Higher Ground He takes me through it first personally…some way, somehow. You’d think I’d remember that and manipulate my topics wouldn’t you 
We’re beginning a 12 week study on “Living Beyond Yourself” next week. Here I am clicking along in life amidst all the things in which I excel…and suddenly I have every kind of need/concern/problem interruption imaginable from outside sources.
Just like yesterday when I got saddled with someone else’s problem client because the agent didn’t bother to show up at a closing which was rife with his buyer’s mortgage problems. I had my own clients to worry about AND his. I wanted to leave them hanging, afterall, they weren’t my problem. I wanted the agent to look as bad as he was. In the end I took very good care of all of them even if it was grudgingly internally. My vision was distorted and narrow, focused on my stuff. When I’m not looking at a situation correctly, seems the situation will exhaust me no matter how minor. I just don’t have the correct energy to deal with it. Last evening it hit me as I sat down with a heavy sigh to prepare for this study…Living Beyond Myself…oh yes…here we go, evidently I need a refresher. It took me long enough to recognize it.
Then, last night I dreamed all night long. I don’t usually dream and when I do it is rarely about me. In my dream, Roger and I were hosting a big outdoor dinner party. We had a bonfire and twinkling lights in the trees just like we used to. Most of our old/good friends were there and many people that I have never met. Good food and conversation, lots of laughter. Next thing I know, the whole group was walking down the dirt road by the Shack (our little place up north in the woods), shovels in hand, going somewhere to dig a well for somebody which turned into building a little structure of some sort. Even my dream was about living Beyond Myself. I think I get the message…
The dream also made me realize how much I miss our parties with friends, people who challenge us. I’m hungry for their meaningful conversation. I’m weary of empty conversation with people who don’t really want to know or be known, weary of the facade of verbosity.
I want to Live for something beyond myself. I Must.
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