April 2007

I’m processing this thought…

in the past, Christians have entered a situation of serving by charging in on their white horse with the Jesus banner flying and a trumpet sound proclaiming to all the world they are a representative of Christ and therefore, this deed I’m about to perform is because I’m a Christian and this is what Christians do.

What we should do is enter a situation of serving people because this is who we are, what our character requires of us and oh by the way, we’re that way because Christ transformed us.

We should live our lives with the emphasis being on trans-formance not per-formance. There’s nothing amazing about performance, all that is required for that is practice. You don’t even need a heart.

More blessings.

This past week someone succeeded in completely blowing our minds. No easy task given who we are and the people we hang with. What did they do, you ask?

They gave us an envelope with $685 cash in it…just to bless us. Who does that?

Our season of barely is ending, we’ve moved on into the stewardship portion of this lesson. Making careful decisions about what to do with this season of income and seeking God’s direction in it, so why would this happen to us now? Why now when we have gas in the car and a nearly full case of Ramen Noodles left?

We balked, objected, pleaded and explained that we’re not in need. They said they were aware but had been praying diligently about what to do with this portion of money and felt very certain that God wanted them to give it to us. We didn’t know what to do. This gift completely prostrated us. In all of our years of scarcity, no one except our parents ever gave us a dime. And even our parents weren’t in a position to give us all that many dimes since we each come from rather large families.

We took the envelope home, prayed over it, wondered over it and it sits on our desk. We’re completely humbled by the gift, neither of us feeling worthy to touch it. There’s so much need around us we could do a thousand things with it, but what does God want us to do with it? How can $685 make the biggest ripple? It feels like a huge responsibility to have this money and we know how hard the person works who earned it. We have been searching God’s direction all week.

Why did God lead them to give that to us and how could we multiply that $685 and honor God with it in an everlasting way? That was the question…

Then the answer came. Roger and I have been praying about his going on a missions trip with our church to NOLA. There’s a group going down to help rebuild a church that is a huge support to the community there and it’s still in shambles. Literally. This is a trip he wanted to go on but he hadn’t gotten the green light from God yet…that is until he got an envelope with $685 in it.

5 fishes and 2 loaves of bread. I can’t wait to see how God uses this $685 to change my guy’s life. And through him, change mine and the ripples of that, everlasting.

What kind of people hand you an envelope with a wad of cash in it and say “here, God lead me to give this to you. Do whatever you want with it”. I want to be just like them when I grow up.

I’m not the same person I was a week ago. Again.
I finally laid myself down and let the Master reshape some things.
I have new eyes.
The view from here is no longer cloudy but in perfect focus!
Passing on through this throng of indecision
I have urgent things to attend to.

No building required,
nor paper degree,
What I am about
Is the Masters decree.

Shevolution.

Squat, you know, like find a group of people or a cause or a ministry and squat on it. Claim it. Stake my flag on it. Leave my fingerprints all over it and call it Mine. Put a protective fence around it and require permission to enter. Give myself wholly unto it. Pour my time and energy into it until I am exhausted and spent.

Squatting usually comes with a title, a list of duties, expectations and is performed in a building, usually on Sundays and sometimes even with mediocrity because it’s not our passion. Ok, maybe that is a bit unfair, but…

While this kind of serving sounds all righteous and committed, I’m thinking that for the majority of us it’s dangerously close to a religious service project than God’s Plan. Instead of Ministry Squatting with some undying commitment to duty, what if our single focus was finding and following God’s plan for our life, whatever it is and wherever it leads? Why is this even a struggle for me? I mean, God would not write a plan for my life from the beginning of time and then play hide and seek with it.

My struggle? Yielding. Yielding my squat…I don’t like Yielding. I’m not even fond of the letter Y. I’m a peddle to the metal kind of girl. Do first, ask questions later. Translation…I think it might be…Agenda masquerading as the more pc term Goal. Doing for the sake of doing just because I can.

I’m working on redefining my Squat. I want to be so on Mission with His plan for me that I disappear and all that remains is a Funnel. A Funnel that HIS energy flows through, instead of mine. A Funnel for His gifts and talents which almost effortlessly sustain the work; His work…and my Passion for it so great that even in exhaustion or frustration I’m completely Spiritually and humanly energized. I want to be so invested in the Plan that to move on to a new thing is as exciting as opening the cover of a fresh new book…maybe a long awaited sequel where the character is familiar but new adventures await…

Yep, I’m thinking…thou shalt not squat.