The Man and I were supposed to go up to the Shack in the woods today. Actually, we were supposed to go yesterday but business got in the way. Then we were supposed to leave this morning but…business got in the way. So by the time I got home from getting an offer signed, showing a house and sitting for an inspection, it was 4:30 and I hadn’t eaten yet, um, IF you don’t count the cobweb that I accidently sucked down my throat while I was trying to find a light switch in Freddy Krueger’s basement.
So the inspection didn’t go so well, how does a 10 year old house need a new roof anyway? but I digress…I was starving, the Man had just gotten home and he was starving, I was Tense and he was Grumpy. I don’t know where the other 5 dwarfs were (should that be dwarves?…doh! can we even say the word dwarf any more?) but they were probably hiding, we were a little ugly. I sent the Man to the Shack by himself so I could have some peace (yes I know he’ll get some too but this is about Me!).
I decided to have a chick flick night so I put my wool coat on over my pajamas and went to Kroger for comfort food. If you know anything about me, you know I never even wear sweatpants in public much less my pajamas! Hey, not those kind of pajamas, the kind that look like sweatpants, kinda, but they’re not. I grabbed the girl dog, (the Man took the boy dog with him) and off to Kroger we went.
I don’t know what happened to me after we had our little snit. (I did not, I said snit.) I was starving…and I had already eaten some leftovers from last night. I think there is such a thing as MAD HUNGRY. If there is, I was MAD STARVING. I bought an 8 pack of Coke ponies, I love those little 8 ouncer deals. I bought a pint of icecream, loaded potato skins, Pizza Rolls, popcorn chicken coated in this bourbon glaze stuff, a box of MilkBones, LARGE ones for the girl dog, not me in case you’re wondering, and some Greenies. The girl dog loves Greenies. Oh and donuts.
I go to the U-SCAN-IT Station and realize I don’t have my KrogerPlus Card discount key ring (ed note: I did recognize the Divine intervention here in not having my discount keyring thingamajig, as an attempt to save me, but determined to have a proper melt-down, I ignored it) so I dig around in my bulging wallet (full of gas receipts, not money) for my plastic discount card to save .39 on the pizza rolls…because I’m like that. I hate to leave money on the table. I get home, ready for a FAT FEAST that comes after any good fit and a couple of good movies like oh…”The Burning Bed” for example.
I get in the driveway, schlep my two bags of partially hydrogenated treasures through the garage and find I had accidently locked the door from the garage to the house. I didn’t even know the thing had a lock. Like who locks that door in their house anyway? So I go around to the front door, fishing through my purse which doubles as an airline carry-on it’s so deep and I can’t find my keys….Where the heck???
Then it hits me, one more reason not to miss the Man this weekend. He borrowed my keys to get in the church office today and didn’t put them back in my purse. Great. Just flippin MARVEY. I am locked out of my house, AGAIN! in the dark, in MY PAJAMAS, with two bags of crappy-good food, the girl dog…and it’s COLD. I call the Man to see if we have an extra key somewhere. He doesn’t answer. I can’t imagine WHY.
Here I go again. How do I get into these situations? BUT…There are all kinds of tools in my garage for committing a B & E (breaking and entering for you do-gooder types) AND I AIN’T AFRAID TO USE ‘EM. Eyeing the Man’s lovingly polished-to-a-shine chainsaw, I contemplate where I would like a new door. Reluctantly giving up that idea, it took me 3 minutes and a pulled hamstring to unlock and climb through my kitchen window. I bet it doesn’t take me that long to eat all this crap!
I need a solitary couple of days. (Yeah, I know, he probably does too but this is about ME!) The truth of the matter is with living together and working together 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, trust me, you can get too much of a good thing!
As for me, at the moment, I have a chocolate mustache but it tastes faintly of pepperoni.
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April 27, 2007 at 10:47 am
Pingback from trying to listen · We Move Forward with Hope
April 25, 2007 at 9:51 am
billclark
G.
This is an interesting tension that I’m not sure I’m ever going to fully understand. Practice is important (”train unto godliness”), performance is important (otherwise what’s all this talk from Paul about running races?) but transformation is what its all about (too many versus to mention) - but what’s cause? what’s effect? what’s the means? what’s the end?
Sometimes it seems like a gestalt test - the more you look at it, the more the images flip back and forth!
April 25, 2007 at 11:22 am
obahsomah
bill clark you are always thinking!
I think the performing part is to perform before one and only one…God. When we set out to proclaim and perform our deeds as something WE are doing, not something God is doing through us, then it is showing off.
Gwen…always getting me thinking way to early! Love you!
April 25, 2007 at 12:01 pm
awarriorprincess
maybe its where the energy is coming from to begin with? maybe when we expect nothing in return? Maybe when we project the shekina shine away from ourselves? maybe when we walk away without having flown our banner at all and make people want to ask “why”?
April 25, 2007 at 1:43 pm
parke
In some unhealthy situations there really is a sense of performance. I think that it’s worthwhile noting that sometimes we mistake things for performance that are healthy. For example, non-profits frequently tout what they are doing. There is a wrong way to do this, but they know that by touting what is being done (via the power of the supporters and with the energy of the receivers) encourages even more people to jump in. And there is a certain amount of that which you’ll see Paul doing in his letters. He praises what some people over here are doing in a letter that will go around so that others will be jealous to do good things.
There’s also an element of praising God. One of my roles in life is to praise God in my writing. Part of that is pointing out miraculous moments that are clearly all God. I think another part of that though is pointing out God at work in the community around me and in the lives of those serving.
It certainly does make for a complex situation to dive into.
April 27, 2007 at 9:11 am
Gwen
True Parke, I think when there is performance but it’s not for self, that there is a bigger picture for the good of others, that’s transformance.
When I think of Performance I think ritualistic and empty, just going through the motions because we were taught that Christians live a certain way or perform kind deeds. There doesn’t appear to be any life behind it.
April 27, 2007 at 10:19 am
parke
That’s fair.
April 27, 2007 at 10:23 am
Gwen
but sad…